Gibberish Generation

The rules of enragement

Shooting mother

My daughter has asked me not to use words and phrases in my Journal (which she calls a ‘Blog’)…well, she actually said “It’s a BLOG mum, B-L-O-G,” with accompanying rolling of eyes…in my Journal (okay, Blog) which younger people may find difficult to understand.

With that in mind, let us start with a term then these children should know but are usually otherwise engaged at school to have learnt. The term is ‘sic’, the meaning of which my daughter and the male ‘friend’ she is bringing home this weekend must have a firm understanding of before he arrives in order that there should be no ‘misunderstanding’.

sic |sik|

adverb

used in brackets after a quoted word that appears erroneous to show that the word is quoted exactly as it stands in the original.

With the boyfriend’s visit imminent, and having bastardised the title of this post, I thought to look up the true meaning of the phrase The Rules of Engagement through various sources.

 

The Marine Corps

Level 1: Compliant (Co-operative)

The subject responds and complies to verbal commands. Close combat techniques do not apply.

Level 2: Resistant (Passive)

The subject resists verbal commands but complies immediately to any contact controls.

Level 3: Resistant (Active)

The subject initially demonstrates physical resistance. Use compliance techniques to control the situation. Techniques include:

Come-along holds;

Soft-handed stunning blows; and/or

Pain compliance through the use of joint manipulation and the use of pressure points.

Level 4: Assaultive (Bodily Harm)

The subject may physically attack, but does not use a weapon. Use defensive tactics to neutralise the threat. Defensive tactics include:

Blocks;

Strikes;

Kicks;

Enhanced pain compliance procedures; and/or

Impact weapon blocks and blows.

Level 5: Assaultive (Lethal Force)

The subject usually has a weapon and will either kill or injure someone if he is not stopped immediately and brought under control. The subject must be controlled by the use of deadly force.

 

The British Military

Their Rules of Engagement tell us:

When force may be used;

Where force may be used;

Against whom force should be used;

How force should be used to achieved desired end.

 

Lastly, and my particular favourite, comes from:

 

Yahoo!

Rules of Engagement define when we are allowed to shoot and which brings us tidily to:

 

HerMelness’ Rules of Enragement

Shooting will commence this weekend:

indiscriminately

in my house

against you

and consistently to achieve the desired end of your demise if during the night:

I hear your feet in the hall other than to take your weapon to the bathroom to pee.

I hear your feet in the hall in the direction of my daughter’s bedroom – even if she is on fire. Let her burn.

You are not in your room when I do a bed check on the hour, every hour.

 

Otherwise, I can guarantee you there WILL be a ‘misunderstanding’ [sic]. You will be.

Was that clear enough dear?

 HMS HerMelness Speaks