Relationships

Teach people how to treat you

I’m in a bad mood today.

Just TODAY, mum?

A friend of my daughter’s is letting some boy hit her; a relative is letting her boss intimidate her and some fool at Debenhams is trying to tell me that I cannot bring back a dress that obviously had the wrong size label sewn into it. I AM a size 8; I have always been a size 8; and I will forever more be a size 8. The 4-year old child serving me suggested I might want to consider a size 14. I suggested he might want to consider finding a Supervisor with more experience in dealing with mad, menopausal women.

...continue reading

Gibberish Generation

Confessions of a perfect mother

I was a perfect mother.

Not for me looking anything less than elegant, and certainly not dragging dirty, whining children along a high street, or placating them with chocolate in a supermarket.

How low do your standards have to be to leave the house in the states I saw some of these mothers in?  How out of control must you be to use force as discipline?  Just exactly what sort of parent leaves the house happy to inflict that sort of carnage on the general public?  Not me.

Then I had children.

...continue reading

Gibberish Generation

Notes to my 16-year old self

I will often say “no” when asked if I would go back to being 16 again. However, I think I might change that to a yes.

Not go back to re-live the glory days, such as they were, but more to make things easier for the years ahead.  More understandable.

So, what would I go back and tell my sixteen year old self?

  • I would start by saying YOU ARE GORGEOUS. Stop picking at perceived flaws. You have none.
  • Beware adults who let you do whatever you want, whenever you want, wherever you want and with whomever you want.
  • Find someone you can be your true self with. The no hiding, no lying, no papering over the cracks self.
  • Your mother is trying to save you from yourself so that the best you can be thrust upon the world poised, confident and fearless when it is your time.
  • Your first passionate crush will feel like you are the Romeo & Juliet of your era – all heaving bosoms and desperate pleas. This is the stuff of books and movies and is very rarely real.
  • Be kinder to yourself.
  • Trust your instinct. It is based on experiences and things witnessed which have been filed in your subconscious.
  • When people consistently show you their true colours, believe them.
  • That mothers are people. That’s it. Period.
  • Write things down. It is not clever to show your first boss that you can remember everything (then don’t).
  • A bad relationship never goes on to make a good marriage.
  • Keep your secrets, but do not be secretive about things that are deeply worrying you.
  • No man is working late until 3.30 am in the morning who sells insurance for a living.
  • You will have four feisty, funny and aggravating children and you will love them dearly.
  • It is education that opens doors – not money.
  • Tattoos are permanent and may not serve you well 20 years from now. Location, Location, Location.
  • Love does not feel like abuse.
  • Those three little words that thrill you should be “I love you,” and not “You’ve lost weight.”
  • An online spell checker is no use to you if you cannot spell, since you will not know which of the options being offered are correct in the first…plaice! [sic]
  • Leaving your underwear on the bathroom floor is not classy.
  • Our brains are like attics and the more useless stuff we cram in the less likely we are to find what we need when we need it. Do not store unhelpful thoughts about yourself.
  • You do not need make-up. Women wear make-up to look like you not wearing make-up.
  • You are loved.
  • You will be forever loved, and…
  • Yes, you will find true love and feel its reach even after that person dies.

...continue reading

On Reflection

Has anyone seen my life?

It was here a minute ago. I distinctly remember having it. It was young and carefree and running around with something called disposable income.

Where do I think I might have mislaid it?

Well, I think I last saw it in a trendy London bar having a drink with the man of its dreams.

No, I didn’t lose it then.

Could it be at the theatre?

No, I remember it was still around when I got into the cab.

In the office then?

Let me think…

Linen suits, outrageous heels, fancy lunches, countryside breaks, city breaks and generally strutting around looking fine.

...continue reading