EDP Column, Royalty

Pennies from heaven…or a big bag of nappies?

Since my column last month, three phenomena happened in Britain:

1. After the 2013 Wimbledon coin toss (after which the outcome traditionally goes a little awry for Team GB), Andy Murray won the thing in straight sets;

2. The Meteorological Office forgot to tell Brits not to spend their pennies on exotic holidays to faraway places, since Britain was going to be hotter than the sun come July; and

3. A woman had a baby.

Of those three, Kate Middleton having a baby boy named Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge came in a clear winner for many. Certainly the case for the 2,013 new mothers who gave birth on the same day as Kate, and who will each be gifted a silver penny from The Royal Mint.

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Kate Middleton: it’s all going tits up

There are certain perennial hot topics I avoid in open forum, or with people I don’t know well.

Typically, this would include Politics, Religion, Royalty and, of late, any debate about ’50 Shades of Grey’. Talk about a nation divided.

Kate Middleton’s breasts, however, are everywhere – and managed to find even me with my head in the sand.

Many enquired what I felt about the issue, one of whom was my teen, all knowing my views on the state of our supposed heads of State.

As it turns out, I feel even more strongly about privacy laws.

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Grace Van Custem: no Shirley Temple

Yes, I did have a bit of a titter and a few wry words about Grace Van Custem, the bridesmaid at the Royal Wedding who didn’t seem that impressed with anything. No wonder they say never work with animals or children. An unpredictable lot at best, but a recognised occupational hazard.

In point of fact, I remember the lead-up to my own daughter’s big 7th birthday. I say lead-up. She talked of nothing else for a whole year. Then, come the big day, and after a whole lot of drama, she ended up crying her eyes out for most of the time in her room. Which didn’t faze her guests much since they were happy to snort their way through 100lbs of Jello and a 20-tier birthday cake without her.

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The Queen’s apology

Dear HMS HerMelness Speaks, one is somewhat concerned that a recent epistle of yours entitled ‘Dear Kate Middleton’ implies, and from which can be inferred, that one spends one’s pension allowance on Vodka, thereby leaving no funds for the wedding of one’s Grandson to the commoner, Miss Middleton. In this wise, I would ask that you please ‘Make It Stop!’ and print a retraction and apology with all haste if one is to avoid ‘a misunderstanding’ with the gallows.



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