Older Age

Life does not begin at forty, but it doesn’t end there either (#Post40Bloggers)

In our youth obsessed culture, straplines like ‘Life begins at 40’ and similar are understandable (inevitable?).

And when I was younger and gonna live forever, the only old people (over 22) I came up against were in charge of me in some way, and certainly did not form part of my social circle – fabulous or otherwise.

The internet, social media and blogging changed things for the new brood of young ‘uns.

The differing ages socialise and fight in equal measure across the social media divide. Ageless people just being people with people insights, people highs and people lows. Some of these people blog about their highs and lows and thus become more than just people. They become people with that great distinction. They are bloggers. Bloggers of all ages.

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Older Age

Forget the birth certificate, what’s our mind age?

There was a pivotal moment when I knew I was a grown-up. Not the overly made-up, dressed up, trussed up, pretend kind of grown-up, but a grown-up the wider world recognised as such and took seriously.

For me it was the time I wasn’t ‘carded’ when ordering a Gin & Slimline at a trendy London bar.

‘Hey, don’t you want to see some ID?’ I asked the back of the retreating bartender. He turned and gave me a knowing smile.

What the hell with the knowing smile, I thought. Why, I was carded only last week. Ask anyone.

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Older Age

When I am an old woman, I shall touch up young women in bathrooms and wear DayGlo yellow sneakers

Before the age of 52, a week ago now, touching young women in bathrooms and wearing DayGlo yellow sneakers would have made it onto that list entitled ‘Things You Don’t Do Just Because You’re Old and Stupid.’

Old and stupid begins with a young woman, a work colleague, minding her own business after doing her business in the work bathroom. Later turning around to the full length mirror to fix her perfect face, she didn’t know she needed someone to tuck in the two bra straps on show at the back of her perfect self.

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Older Age

Best friends can’t be best friends AND Grandmothers – it’s the law

Dear Best Friends,

It is my sad duty to report that one of our number has, unfortunately, found herself in ‘The Granny Way’. She is due in the next week or so.

While the shame which has been brought to bear on our anti-ageing group cannot be articulated (without succumbing to the usual vulgarity and a stiff drink), Clause 5.6.1233.iiiia.ix can, however, be pressed into assistance.

This Best Friends’ Clause states that, in the absence of consultation with those who do not themselves wish to be perceived as old enough to be Grandmothers, it is within the group’s right to end all and any relations with those of its membership who chose to enter Grannydom without prior consultaton with her homies.

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