On Reflection

Paint me happy

There is a moment, a nano-second, when deciding to re-decorate an apartment makes sense to you. My moment was a day before work when I sat in my favourite armchair drinking my one and only cup of coffee for the day.

It’s the time I take stock, think about the day ahead, stop thinking about the day ahead, and just sit for 15 minutes. It’s the time in the day I call up gratitude and mind all the things, places and people I am grateful to have in my life. It didn’t occur to me two weeks ago to be effing grateful for a well-ordered apartment in which I could sit, drink coffee and navel gaze.

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Black Widow Chronicles

Five years

Bronson Hart Fargo Jr. 11 June 1957 - 15 January 2010

Today is the anniversary of Bronnie’s death – five years.

I am not working today and spending the day with one of my daughters.

I tried to explain to a colleague this week that I do not mark this day to be sad necessarily, but to take time to stop for a moment to respect someone who so deeply impacted my life. A day to remember, whether through laughter or tears, through words said or not said, that years ago today someone special was taken away.

Bronnie deserves that.

In that way, then, there is no ‘working through the stages of grief’ to be done today, although maybe we should consider there is another stage of grief. Mindfulness.

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Black Widow Chronicles

A question of legacy: looking forward to looking back

As reading material goes, I’m not big on biographies or memoirs. I suppose these missives can be an accurate record of someone’s life, loves and losses but, intellectually, I always wonder.

Wonder how much of the material is geared to the need to sell to appease market forces, editors and publishers. How much of a published life has been underplayed or exaggerated in order to make the numbers.

Then there is the sticky question of those who know the author intimately. So the next ponder must be how much of a biography or memoir’s truth is included or deleted to not piss off family, friends or upset other well established if dead legacies.

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Black Widow Chronicles, Conferences

International Widows’ Day and BritMumsLive!

Who knew that every 23 June is International Widows’ Day? Not me. And if I were not a widow, my filters, like yours probably, would not have caught onto that fact.

I didn’t really read any further as to what this day entails. Perhaps there’s cake and funeral music to end proceedings at around midnight? Perhaps I’ll find the strength and less sarcastic nature next year to read through any special agenda I should be following.

I know, that sounded bitter, snarky and ungrateful. Here someone has put on a day for me and I can’t even find the good grace to say ‘thank you.’

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